catching thoughts

 Is it my hormones or some chemical imbalance or something really wrong with me??

My life is full of blessing. I shouldn't dwell on petty stuff but here I am again BUT before I engage and actually do there is something I can do.

I can switch my train of thought and think of happy thoughts.

Yes, I am still blessed.

I am still okay.

I still have a job, money to spend and good health so why not! C'est La Vie!

with that - is there really anything more to say?? nah! I'm all good actually :)

but.. just to ease my mind and unload this not so great thoughts and replace them.. I need to do my regular ranting, it is good for me too. clears my mind.

well, I don't really wanna share anything private but who cares..

also, I am catching myself right now.

Watch the thoughts and let them go. 

Money is something that I can still earn. Let go of my own ego.

I have enough saved and my boyfriend is gonna be there with me. I will not be alone.

The thing is - I've been alone for so long that I try to manage it on my own at the end of the day but come to think of  it --- I wasn't really alone, I have so much support. Sure they were far from me but support was always there if I asked for it.

My ranting and pessimist approach in life did not do well with the people in life a.ka. FRIENDS because they got tired hearing me whine but I got out of it eventually or maybe NOT haha

I need therapy and I need to be able to find something in my life that would make me feel good.

When I met my boyfriend I think I was so happy because I got a partner in life.

He made me pre-occupied with stuff but I didn't have anything on my own though..

Now, my own is being a weekend warrior where I travel every weekend and see people and places, enrich my life experience.

not saying that I didn't see more places and experience more things, I actually did with my boyfriend 💗

I'm not going to publish this.. on second sure why not - no one is gonna read this anyway.. nah not!